I think my screwed up perception of food started when I was very young. My sisters tell me that when I was a toddler I used to eat all of my veggies like a good girl. I wish I knew exactly when I changed and began hating them all. I think perhaps it was that I got to much sugar and it turned me against veggies. There is a picture of me that shows my mom feeding me chocolate ice cream when I couldn’t have been over a year old and I already had rolls cute baby fat.
I remember sitting at the kitchen table for what seemed like hours after everybody else got up because I was not allowed to leave until I ate my vegetables. I never did eat them though. Generally I would throw them out the window. But one time my mom found some very old moldy spinach wrapped up in saran wrap in my toy box. She threatened to make me eat it then, but I knew she wouldn’t. I think that usually she just didn’t prepare the vegetables because she knew it would be a fight, but I can’t remember for sure. I do know that we ate out a lot. When my parents got divorced when I was nine my mom and I ate out every meal. Then of course when I was with my dad we ate out every meal too because it was like a special occasion.
Then the only home cooked meals I got where from my grandmas and boy was that some good eat’n. Grandma J. had about forty people in our family over every Sunday. There was never a question of what you were going to do on Sunday or who was going to show up, it was always the same time and same people. Her dinners were not the same every week however but never ventured far from our norm. They varied according to season of course since in the summer we would be outside and grilling. She made her famous dumpling soup, the best perogies in the world, podosh which I have never had since and lasagna there was always so much food that you couldn’t even eat a little bit of everything. Then came desserts. I won’t even go into it. Grandma J. just kept shoving food at you and it seamed if you did not eat three times the amount of a normal meal her feelings would be hurt and she would keep on saying how about some….., how about some of this……. I miss her terribly.
Grandma S. didn’t have the regular dinner every Sunday but even though the timing varied the meals were just as fantastic. She made the best home made rolls, pies, and my one of my favorite dishes to this day which consisted of egg noodles from Amish country chicken broth and mushroom soup. She was also very big on cobblers and cinnamon rolls and her mashed potatoes where the best.
At Grandma and Grandpa S’s house is where I learned to love my dear sweet Coke. Grandpa S. worked for Coca-Cola. He was and advertising man. At the bottom of their stairs to the basement there was a table that was filled with every coke product imaginable. There were four refrigerators in that basement and one of them was completely for pop. Back then we just got those bottles of pop. I can’t remember what size but I am sure you know what I am talking about. I have many cousins right around the same age as me. It still makes me proud to this day to remember that when we where kids I was the only cousin allowed to have a whole bottle of Coke to themselves because I was the only one who could drink the whole thing and never let any got to waste. The other cousins had to share. I love that memory.
What I would give for one of their meals…and an ice cold Coke right now.
Anyways back to the point…what was the point? Oh yeah my screwed up views on food. Well I don’t really know, perhaps I just wanted to stroll down memory lane. But I do remember always wanting to eat more than everybody else did. I never wanted to stop. After I lived in Bakersfield for a while I became very poor and was even homeless for a while living in my big old hoopty with my boyfriend. It was a nasty situation but I do remember I ate everything in sight. We would go to the college campus where some club would be giving away food for reasons I still am unsure of and we would fill our plates and go back for seconds. I know for a fact that my mind was on survival mode and I think that I have never gotten out of that mind set.
I also think that maybe I eat because I’m lonely. But when I am with my family I still eat like crazy and I’m not lonely then. Then I think I eat because I miss my mom. I miss her like it just happened yesterday that is true, but I can’t say for sure thats why I eat. I think that I just eat like crazy because that is who I am. I love food and I can’t get enough of it. But I have to do something because it is quite honestly ruining my life. I am sorry that I have written this downer blog and I am going to stop now because I am quite sad and I hope nobody reads this.![]()
I remember sitting at the kitchen table for what seemed like hours after everybody else got up because I was not allowed to leave until I ate my vegetables. I never did eat them though. Generally I would throw them out the window. But one time my mom found some very old moldy spinach wrapped up in saran wrap in my toy box. She threatened to make me eat it then, but I knew she wouldn’t. I think that usually she just didn’t prepare the vegetables because she knew it would be a fight, but I can’t remember for sure. I do know that we ate out a lot. When my parents got divorced when I was nine my mom and I ate out every meal. Then of course when I was with my dad we ate out every meal too because it was like a special occasion.
Then the only home cooked meals I got where from my grandmas and boy was that some good eat’n. Grandma J. had about forty people in our family over every Sunday. There was never a question of what you were going to do on Sunday or who was going to show up, it was always the same time and same people. Her dinners were not the same every week however but never ventured far from our norm. They varied according to season of course since in the summer we would be outside and grilling. She made her famous dumpling soup, the best perogies in the world, podosh which I have never had since and lasagna there was always so much food that you couldn’t even eat a little bit of everything. Then came desserts. I won’t even go into it. Grandma J. just kept shoving food at you and it seamed if you did not eat three times the amount of a normal meal her feelings would be hurt and she would keep on saying how about some….., how about some of this……. I miss her terribly.
Grandma S. didn’t have the regular dinner every Sunday but even though the timing varied the meals were just as fantastic. She made the best home made rolls, pies, and my one of my favorite dishes to this day which consisted of egg noodles from Amish country chicken broth and mushroom soup. She was also very big on cobblers and cinnamon rolls and her mashed potatoes where the best.
At Grandma and Grandpa S’s house is where I learned to love my dear sweet Coke. Grandpa S. worked for Coca-Cola. He was and advertising man. At the bottom of their stairs to the basement there was a table that was filled with every coke product imaginable. There were four refrigerators in that basement and one of them was completely for pop. Back then we just got those bottles of pop. I can’t remember what size but I am sure you know what I am talking about. I have many cousins right around the same age as me. It still makes me proud to this day to remember that when we where kids I was the only cousin allowed to have a whole bottle of Coke to themselves because I was the only one who could drink the whole thing and never let any got to waste. The other cousins had to share. I love that memory.
What I would give for one of their meals…and an ice cold Coke right now.
Anyways back to the point…what was the point? Oh yeah my screwed up views on food. Well I don’t really know, perhaps I just wanted to stroll down memory lane. But I do remember always wanting to eat more than everybody else did. I never wanted to stop. After I lived in Bakersfield for a while I became very poor and was even homeless for a while living in my big old hoopty with my boyfriend. It was a nasty situation but I do remember I ate everything in sight. We would go to the college campus where some club would be giving away food for reasons I still am unsure of and we would fill our plates and go back for seconds. I know for a fact that my mind was on survival mode and I think that I have never gotten out of that mind set.
I also think that maybe I eat because I’m lonely. But when I am with my family I still eat like crazy and I’m not lonely then. Then I think I eat because I miss my mom. I miss her like it just happened yesterday that is true, but I can’t say for sure thats why I eat. I think that I just eat like crazy because that is who I am. I love food and I can’t get enough of it. But I have to do something because it is quite honestly ruining my life. I am sorry that I have written this downer blog and I am going to stop now because I am quite sad and I hope nobody reads this.
